This past week however was an eye opener of sorts. And it was little one year old baby (my own daughter) who drove the point home! Observing her for the past 4 days has indeed been an educating experience for me and (hopefully) my family. My daughter Shahana was completely dehydrated (loose stools and vomiting) and we had to rush her to emergency medical care on Sunday evening. She stayed there till Thursday afternoon and returned home, with the same old zing and the 10000 watt smile that just takes my breath away!
As adults we have this amazing ability to complicate an otherwise simple thing. We love it when the puzzle gets tougher and tougher. It is some sort of thrill we seem to achieve in complicating matters instead of solving then right when they are simple. We cling to thoughts, we agonize, we analyze, we rationalize, and by the time we are done, we have successfully messed up a completely simple situation (I know I am sounding out a sweeping generalization here, which may not be always true) into a complex web of counterproductive results and reactions and outcomes.
But my daughter did just the opposite of all that. In all of her 14 months of existence, she has had the wisdom going with the flow and being comfortable. Of course there were trying moments, when she became really uncomfortable (especially with a medicine), she would just scream her head off.
Here is what I could take back from those 4 days spent at the hospital, getting my daughter treated for dehydration:
+ Acceptance: Denial is one of the most common (if not the biggest) adult trait. We just agonize over the “why-me” over and over again. But Shahana, after the initial discomfort, accepted that the Doctor has poked an intravenous needle in her wrist and that is the way it is going to be, for getting better! In fact the next morning the when she realized that she could not use her right hand because of the bandage and the IV connector, she naturally started playing with her toys using her left hand. No arguments, no “why-me” thoughts (I guess).
+ Adaptability: As adults, we gradually become slower and slower in adapting to change. With time, we get into our comfort zone – our sweet spot. And then we tend to claim complete ownership over it. We just cannot imagine, it being taken away or any change that will lead to us moving out of that zone. Kids are definitely much better at doing this. When Shahana realized that she could not crawl normally with both hands, she started crawling with her right elbow and right hand. Again, nobody taught her how to do it. It was just her natural baby response, to the need to move around (she also walks, but was too weak on day 2, to be able to stand up even).
+ Last but not the least, No Hard Feelings: Ah, that’s a big one. Once you re done reading this post, how about sitting in a quiet corner for a couple of minutes and thinking about all the ‘unnecessary’ emotional baggage that you are carrying. You’d be surprised. Many of us, have been wronged in our lives more than once (sometimes even by people who are very close to our hearts) and we have held grudges for too long (At times it is just so difficult to let go).
Before I got married, I used to be a person loaded with grudges. But I also had a way of getting rid of them. I used to write my feelings down (with total disregard to grammar/bad language, etc.) and by the time, I was done, most of the times I felt a lot better. And then I would destroy that paper as a symbolic gesture of getting rid of my grudge. I am a lot more at peace with myself now.
But kids actually don’t harbor any hard feelings at all! One minute they are angry and the next minute they want to play with the same person. My daughter is old enough to recognize faces. She really used to hate the medicine doses given by the Nurses. But then after a while, she would flash her lovely toothy smile at them. No hard feelings at all.
I am now glad that my baby is back home and is hale and hearty and we look forward to a nice weekend ahead!